


for a minute there, I lost myself

by Leodine



Series: sometimes the bad guys are smart, too [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Dark Will, Gen, Siblings Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Will Byers Has Powers, Will Byers-centric, but will contemplates in this fic, kind of?, the whole gang is there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 05:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21294122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leodine/pseuds/Leodine
Summary: It's summer, and Will notices something is very wrong. It doesn't mean he's going to do something about it.
Relationships: Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Will Byers & Mike Wheeler
Series: sometimes the bad guys are smart, too [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534469
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	for a minute there, I lost myself

It’s finally summer. Will is sitting with his friends in the basement, sharing stories with them, from high school and funny teachers and new comics read in their spare time. El is huddled next to him, her body warm and solid against his. She’s laughing at something that Max, sitting close to her legs, said. Lucas and Dustin are arguing about the exact details of their story – involving too many heroic moments for a simple, mundane anecdote – and Mike is rolling his eyes while saying they’re both wrong. Will feels good.

There’s light in the basement, hitting the three standing boys softly. Will watches it run over their skin, their hair, brightening their features. His friends shine in the late morning light, and Will is so lucky to have them. It’s nice, being with them.

Mike stretches at one moment, arms up above his head, catching him by surprise. There is a sliver of skin visible, and Will gulps down. Suddenly, it’s all too much; Lucas’ hands moving fast to prove his point to Dustin, whose laugh is too loud. Max’s hair is too bright, and El is touching too much of his skin. Mike is entirely excessive, the room he takes in Will’s head overwhelming. There’s a pang of something – longing, possessiveness, hunger? – in his stomach and Will realizes there is too much saliva in his mouth. El stiffens next to him.

He abruptly stands up, making her almost fall.

“Hey!” Max yells at him, eyebrows furrowed. Her anger dissipates when she catches Will’s expression, what he supposes is crystallized fear. “Will?”

“What’s going on?” Mike’s voice follows him as he climbs up the stairs, leaving the basement.

Mrs Wheeler calls after him, asking him what’s wrong, but Will cannot speak. He gets to the first floor and locks himself in the bathroom. It’s only then that he feels safe. Gripping the sink, he looks up.

His cheeks are full of water, that he spits, disgust saturating his thoughts. This is not normal. He wipes the excess drool, but his mouth feels weird still, like how it does after a visit at the dentist. Too empty, too tight, like his teeth had been rearranged in the wrong way. It stings too, and he notices belatedly that there is blood mixed with the drool he spat. He tries not to dwell too much on it as he washes it with water absently, fixing his attention back to himself.

The thing looking back in the mirror is not him. It _is_ him, but he’s blurry around the edges, fading away, or rather… he can’t make out what’s being revealed underneath the thin veil of his reality. He raises his hand, reaching for the other in the mirror. His reflection, naturally, does the same.

But what he reaches for isn’t himself. He sees all, _everything_, for a short while, then his vision refocuses. On Hawkins, on his loved ones. They’re all within hearing, seeing distance, as if they were in the same room as him, yet they aren’t. They’re all close enough for Will to touch them. He does, somewhat, and feels a reaction, a thought, a worry. El’s the strongest of them all, she’s confused. She reaches back too, and Will lets her, just for a moment.

Will having powers is old news to her, but this, this in particular, is new. Will retreats from her – and he blocks her from fully seeing him – focusing on others. Mike is running up the stairs, worry eating at his chest, Max’s attention is on El, who is still trying to see into Will. Lucas wants to run after Mike, but Dustin is telling him to wait. Will sees all, feels all. He tries to send some reassurance to Mike, to all of them. It soothes, even El’s bemusement, and Will digs deeper.

He digs deeper and finds himself, hunger in his mind, craving for something. He doesn’t get it; he’s not hungry, but something in him is. Something that feels absolutely empty.

What is touched by him, he comes to realize, is not just his friends. Not just his family. Not even just Hawkins. It’s everywhere he’s gone to, _he’s_ everywhere. The knowledge is dizzying. These aren’t now-memories; they’re embedded in him. He knows all through himself and himself alone. He knows all and can affect all.

That is when the hunger explodes. He becomes suddenly aware of _it_, in him, from him, where the hunger is buried. He reaches for the mirror again and his reflection is no more. In its place stands darkness, but the shadows parts slowly. It is revealed.

It’s him. But dark eyes gauge him and a mouth full of too many – or too sharp – teeth smiles at him. Will doesn’t dare take his hand back, in fear of finding the same eyes, the same smile on his side.

The hunger rumbles in his stomach.

_Wouldn’t it be so easy_, his reflection’s mouth moves as the words float in the room, _to just devour all?_

Will doesn’t want that. He needs his loved ones to be safe.

_Well then, take them in, with you_, his voice continues. It’s distorted, but unmistakably his. _If they’re all with you, then nothing bad will happen. They’d be safe, with you. With us._

Will doesn’t know who the us is. He doesn’t want to know, yet the knowledge imposes itself on his mind, and suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad at all. The us is on its way to be him. He would be able to protect them, all of them, and no harm would ever come to them again.

_That’s right_, the voice comes again, approvingly. _They need you, as you are now, as you’re becoming. You’ll take them._

Will opens his mouth to repeat what his reflection told him, but a voice, its franticness a sharp contrast with the calm tone of his other self, interrupts him.

“Will, are you okay?”

Will brushes the worry off with a distant annoyance. This is a mere nuisance, one he can swat away with a hand (_yes, yes! _the voice resonates again).

But then, he remembers.

“Will?” It’s Mike, knocking on the door. The sounds are erratic, forceful, but Will welcomes them.

He follows the sound of Mike’s voice, starts crawling out of the darkness. It smothers him, thick and dark but Will holds on. He pushes through, floats up, up and he’s out.

Out in the bathroom, but the darkness is out with him, smoke swirling around him. It’s not hostile; it’s coming from him. It makes the real world look like the Upside Down, and the sound of slithering vines grates his hears. The light above him flickers.

“Will? Will please, answer me!” Mike’s knocks grow desperate.

“Yeah, wait, I’m coming,” Will’s voice is much too calm, foreign to his ears. “I’m okay.”

Mike is quiet for a moment. His hand rests against the door, he’s breathing hard, but Will knows he’s forcing himself to calm down.

“What happened?” Mike asks, demands almost.

Will doesn’t answer at first; he wills the smoke in. His reflection, peeking through, is too sharp, too present, as if the mirror was a portal to that other Will, the one that he met down wherever he was. As if the other Will was ready to cross the distance between them. Will smooths it down with his mind and, satisfied, he opens the door, facing a disheveled Mike.

“Will, what happened?” Mike repeats breathlessly.

“Nothing much, I- I just felt overwhelmed for a moment. Needed to get out.”

“El said that something was wrong,” Mike insists, his brows furrowed.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Will lies, a small smile on his face. He considers giving in to the prodding of El’s powers in his mind. He lets her in just a little, a controlled move, content when he feels her searching for something amiss. She won’t find anything. “Just… I thought I was having a panic attack,” he admits sheepishly.

“That’s not nothing, Will,” Mike notes, his voice stern. His hand raises tentatively, reaching for Will.

Will pretends he doesn't see it. He steps out of the bathroom quickly, avoiding Mike's touch. “I know, I know. But I’m better now.”

“You sure?” Mike asks again, his eyes intent on Will’s. His hands are sagely by his sides now.

“Yeah,” Will nods.

“Cool. We were thinking of going to the swimming pool this afternoon. Is that alright with you?” Mike’s tone is still full of concern, but Will knows this is going to dissipate.

“Of course. Sounds great!”

Mike smiles at him, his lips quirking up in a soft familiar curve, and leads him down to the basement once again.

A last look behind him tells him something, someone, is still watching. An odd, duplicated feeling behind his eyes. He’s still watching himself. But that too, fades with the distance, and he’s alone once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Time for another exploration of Will's character in this AU!  
A lot of this universe is tied to how Will perceives himself, and not necessarily a reflection of his moral values or his alignment I suppose. I wanted to see just how much the Upside Down and being possessed by the Mind Flayer could affect him, taking into consideration that he has powers and a lot of good theories out there that make the whole situation even more interesting.


End file.
